4 Things I Wish I Had Done Differently

          Have you ever looked back and thought of things that you should have or could have done differently to achieve a different outcome, or even the same outcome just a lot simpler? Maybe you are planning on starting a new career or entering the job market for the first time altogether, starting a new project or hobby.

What ever it may be, remember to take a few steps back and try to get a better idea of the WHOLE picture. Today, I would like to share just a few of the things I wish I would have done either completely, or slightly different in my life. I hope this will give a little insight, some prospective, or even open up a totally different road that could be traveled!

1. We have all heard the saying “it’s never too late…”, right? Well, for some things, it can be too late. Growing up, I was the typical kid (of the 90’s), always playing outside, building things, breaking things, playing sports, and going to school. I was brought up by my grandparents, I never gave them enough credit for what they had to endure having to raise another young kid, a boy to boot (they had all girls of their own). I was polite but not even all the time with that; I would say please and thank you, do my chores after being told to a few times, mow the yard etc.
2. As I got older, I had more of a shining towards girls and drinking and staying out late. I didn’t really have a curfew or restrictions as long as my grades were up, and I was up on time to do what ever needed to be done the following day. Got a little older still, staying at friends’ houses, at the lake, with my girlfriends at the time, only going home to change clothes and shower. My senior year of high school, I spent more time at the lake then I did at school and more time at school then I did at home. I didn’t think anything of it. Finally, after taking a few months “break” after graduating, I decided to enlist and get married (will cover these two things below). After serving a little time in the Army, I can back home to tend to my grandparents, my grandfather was ill, and my grandmother was old. I wanted to help a little. Fast forward to now, I am 32 years old, the only family I have is in household (wife, 3 kids, 4 dogs, a cat, and some fish), and I think back to how horrible I was to my grandparents. All the time I missed out on where I could have gained a little knowledge and insight myself. Family dinners that could have been had, traveling that should have been done. I miss them, and there is nothing I can do about it except look at their pictures every once and a while, remember what few good times I allowed them to have, and do my best to make sure my children won’t have the same regret when they get older.
   1. The lesson, money can always be earned, friends will come and go (and after enough of that they’re just gone altogether), boys/girls will vanish like dust in the desert.  Family is important, and once they are gone you will never have that time with them again. So make sure you make time for them, make memories, have laughs, embrace one another in tough times, defend one another in troubling times, and finally, share your lives with one another.
3. I’ve mention I served in the military, I always thought I would be a career soldier. I actually always thought I would be a career Marine. When I decided to go ahead and get married the first time, I decided it would probably be best to go into the Army; I followed the adage “if the Marine Corps wants you to have a wife, they will issue you one”. Well… I wish I would have waited a little longer for one or the other. If I had waited to enlist for a year or so, I could have gotten into better shape (I am NOT a runner) and would and been divorced already, so I could have pursued my dream. There’s another saying you will learn if you enlist, get out, then try to get back into ANY branch, “when you’re in you’re a guest, when you’re out you’re a pest”. Recruiters will sell you on all sorts of BS, and that you can come back. Well, you can, if you are willing the tolerate all of the BS and waiting, jumping through hurdles and hoops, just to get knocked back a rank or two get the same exact job, or something completely on the other side of the spectrum. As far as changing branches, I can only speak from Army to Marine Corps or Air Force with an honorable discharge, it still isn’t going to happen.
   • Lesson learned, your time with big decisions. Especially if it is or was a dream of yours and is something that you want to do for the rest of your life, or at least as long as you are permitted to. Never trust a recruiter, always read and reread your contracts before signing, and ALWAYS keep your original copies of ANY paperwork throughout life!
4. Something that I have touched base on twice now, getting married. For some, this should NEVER be an option until you are in your 30’s. Others, should make sure you have been together for several years, gotten most of the serious fighting and arguing out of the way already, come to terms with who the other is, lived together for at least a year, and see how the other is with important things like jobs, finances, and family. My first marriage lasted a little longer than 6 years simply because I did not want to be a statistic within the first, then we had kids, and I thought I was stuck. I know what was said above, If I had waited to enlist, the marriage would have been over sooner if I would have gotten married at all the first time around. We finally split for 2 years, got divorced after 3 and I got the kids. A little more time passed, and I found the love of my life, after fried catfish! We were dating for a week before I asked her to move in, lived together for several years, then finally tied the knot! Extenuating circumstances were the cause for the early move in, and she was going through a divorce as well so this time we wanted to make sure that we had both gotten it right. It has been seven years now, at the time of writing this, and sure we still bicker every now and again, we seldom fight if ever, and things are pretty good. They could always be better, but they are not bad by any means of the definition.
   • Lesson here, is the same as above, take your time with big decisions, try a few things out first and then come to a conclusion. Just because one or two things did not work out, doesn’t mean nothing will!
5. The final thing I wish to share in this article is perhaps the biggest in my adult life. When you are younger it is fine to go from job to job every so often to figure things out and see what not only best suits you, but also what you will be a good fit for. If you can, I strongly suggest finding people you can talk with about different jobs, who have been on the job for at least a few years. Don’t count recruiters, and do not trust what they say. You can pretty much think of them as a salesman, just trying to get that sale. After talking with someone about the positions and career fields, see if you can find something there that offers some type of internship, and remember to try different locations! Different locations/businesses will have different people, different pay perhaps, different hours and benefits, etc. After you intern, if it’s a good fit, apply for a fulltime position, later down the road if a different opportunity presents itself remember to always resign! When I was younger, I always thought it was better to get let go, I did not want to be seen as a quitter. Well, while some of you are getting a good laugh in right, I will let the rest of you know that that is NOT the best idea. If you properly resign, you give a 2 weeks’ notice (even though they don’t give you 2 weeks to find a new job before firing you), and make sure you are not leaving any loose ends or unfinished work for someone else to take care of at a later date. Finally, never give more of yourself to your job then you do your family; and never give a gross amount over what your employer gives in return. With this, you should never seek praise or gratitude, just do your job. If they value you and the rest of the team, they will make the effort to show you without you having to tell them to, much like a relationship because that is essentially what this is.

Well, there we have it. Forgive the run on sentences, as I have shared, I am new to this and not quite sure how I could have broken them up to still look somewhat presentable. I will figure it out as I go. I do hope I was able to reach a majority of you and give you some different perspectives. At the minimum, open a door to unlock new ideas. Thank you for sticking around to read, and if you have any questions, please reach out and I will be happy to assist you however I can.